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The Key to Empathetic Listening By: Tony Pantello | May 3, 2010 Has the following ever happened to you? You're behind the wheel in gridlock traffic and you courteously let someone merge into your lane. And then that same person you graciously let in doesn't even acknowledge and thank you for it. How rude, right? Most people, including myself, get offended when this happens. What's this situation have to do with empathetic listening and LEAD Session 4? Everything. It exemplifies the exact opposite attitude you should take when you're seeking to empathetically listen to others. When you're truly seeking to understand what another is saying, the key is to be genuinely interested in their welfare, their situation, and the message they are communicating, regardless of whether there is anything for you to "gain" or take away from it. Think again about the anecdote that opened this post. When you nicely let someone cut into your lane, what was your motivation for doing so? So he or she would thank you for it? If you were genuinely interested in the other driver's welfare and wanted to be helpful to them, why should it matter whether or not the person thanks you for doing so? Apply this same attitude towards empathetic listening. Don't immediately try to interpret, judge, and evaluate what this person's message means specifically to you or what you can "get out of it". Rather, seek to understand it from their perspective and for their sake, not your own. Do you agree? Have you found it easier to connect and empathize with others when you sideline your own ambitions even though its difficult to do so?
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